Juicy karma
09.29.06
Song of the Day: Feist - When I Was a Young Girl
The time: 1 in the morning. I’m exhausted and so ready to get into bed. I open the fridge door in order to grab a yogurt before sleeping...only to have the entire apparatus inside the fridge door fall out, bringing an open pitcher of cranberry juice with it. This took a half hour to clean up, and it splashed all over my white Victoria’s Secret Pink pants.
God, Karma, don’t you watch Earl? Bad things are supposed to happen to men who dump women by giving them the permanent silent treatment after spending months whimpering about wanting a second chance after doing that the first time around, not to the women who were dumped in such a cowardly way.
This means some spineless, scum-sucking, bottom-feeder firefighter somewhere should end up with a drunk college girl defecating and puking all over him every time he gets behind the wheel of the ambulance.
THAT’S how you’re supposed to work, Karma. Leave my damn juice alone! I didn’t even get to drink any of it!
Speaking of karma, can we stop killing Jeffrey Dean Morgan? Seriously! Leave the poor man alone. Where am I going to watch him now? I’m sure he’ll appreciate it if his next role doesn’t involve a hospital bed.
01:34 PM [link] [2 Comments]
Autopsy thrills
09.28.06
Song of the Day: All Saints - Black Coffee
So today was A-Day, the day that I got to view an autopsy at the ME's office for my Forensic Sciences class. The professor wanted us to have the opportunity so that anyone who goes to court with a case that involves an autopsy is aware of the process and where it might be appropriate to ask the expert witnesses questions.
There were two bodies being worked on in the room that my group was in, and when they first got started, my first reaction was a moment of paralyzing and thinking, "I can't do this." That quickly disappeared as I listened to the technicians explain what they were doing and why, and I watched as one-by-one, the organs each came out to be weighed, and fluids were collected.
One of the corpses had died from a gunshot wound to the head, so the next order of business was removing the brains and the bullet. By this point, over 20 minutes had gone by, and I'd figured that since I'd made it this far, I'd be good for the rest. Once they started going for the brains, I started getting the distinctly dizzy feeling one gets right before passing out. At that point, I decided it would be best to go home.
It wasn't the cutting-open-of-the-body that seemed to get to me as much as it was an amalgam of things - the very blueish cast to the skin, the smell, and the sound of the electrical tools as they cut into the bodies, and the expression on the corpses' faces. You'd definitely have to be in a certain frame of mind to perform autopsies every day, and the technicians definitely seemed to be in one since they spent the whole time joking around with each other.
So maybe I wimped out in the end, but at least I can say I took advantage of an unusual opportunity and didn't shirk from it because it would be gross.
Vanity sizing sucks
09.27.06
Song of the Day: Reina - Find Another Woman
Last year, I went to Express to buy a pair of dark brown corduroy pants. I grabbed the normal size that I've been wearing at Express for the last 5 years and went to the fitting room, fully expecting that they'd fit fine. I pulled them on...and discovered I had enough room to fit another leg in them.
I stepped out of the fitting room to ask the clerk for a smaller size, and she gave me a huge grin and said, "How exciting, you're down to a size 2!"
I was not down to a size 2, as all the perfectly-fitting size 4s in my closet gave testimony to. Those idiots simply made the size 2s bigger. In my mind, "exciting" means being able to rely on sizes to stay consistent at a store I've been shopping at for years. It's a pain in the ass to get a new size when you're half-naked in the fitting room, especially when fitting room clerks aren't available and you have to get re-dressed to go hunt the correct size down. I ran into the same thing at the Gap when I bought pants there this spring, and I started mourning the fact that my favorite stores were jumping on the vanity sizing bandwagon.
I say, cut the crap. You're not fooling anyone. Women's clothing sizes are confusing enough since there isn't a standard to go by (why can't we use inches like men do?), but individual stores could at least attempt to stay consistent.
Also, being down to a real size 2 would require me to be undernourished and probably possessing a failing immune system. How is that "exciting"?
01:07 AM [link] [2 Comments]
La la la
09.25.06
Song of the Day: Poe - Trigger Happy Jack
CAN'T TALK TO A PSYCHO LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING.
Ahem.
My grocery store has been selling pints of Ben & Jerry's ice cream for $2.50 for the last few weeks. I shall cry when they stop.
01:36 AM [link]
Yeah, this is real
09.24.06
Song of the Day: David Bowie - Never Let Me Down
The setting: My apartment a little over a year and a half ago.
The players: Me and a boy (he does not Qualify as a man, as you'll soon see) I used to date
Boy: *exits bathroom* "You need to mop your bathroom floor."
Me: "Oh?"
Boy: "Yes, I missed the toliet while peeing."
Me: *very, very very long pause* "Could you repeat that?"
Boy: "I missed the toliet, so now you need to mop in there."
Me: *stares at Boy as if he has two heads* "There are cleaning supplies in the closet and under the sink."
Boy: "What, you want ME to do it?!?!"
And then he wondered why he got dumped.
One might think this might have been a one-time, momentary lapse of judgment, but this boy really was so damn lazy that he couldn't clean up his own urine. He used to refuse to put his dishes in my dishwasher when he came over, because, "We didn't have one of those when I was growing up. I don't know how to use it." I discovered it was far easier to get rid of the boy than it was to clean his dishes for him after he left.
12:12 PM [link]
iTunes Shuffle
09.21.06
Song of the Day: Aurora - The Day It Rained Forever
Over in her Vox blog, J put her media player on "shuffle" and listed the first 10 songs that appeared. I thought it would be interesting to see what happened when I did that, given that I have 14,212 songs, spanning 20 genres and 432 artists (not including those only on compilation albums).
I'm just a little bit obsessed with music, in case you can't tell.
And so, I am randomly given:
Radiohead - Black Star
Lunik - Weather
Live - Voodoo Lady
Despina Vandi - Gia (DJ Gregory remix)
Deborah Cox - Where Do We Go From Here
NSync - I Want You Back
Faithless - Donny X
Feist - Gatekeeper (Do Right mix)
Erasure - Home
The Smashing Pumpkins - Obscured
Strangely, it's a pretty good representation of what I listen to. Some rock, some trip-hop, some dance and electronica, and some guilty pleasure pop. The way my dead iPod used to treat me, I thought for sure that the shuffle feature would go into the tiny number of country albums I own and make it look like that's all I listen to.
For my "what do I listen to?" charts, check out Last.fm. Also, remember that I've started up a side blog at Vox for more review-like entries.
01:06 AM [link]
Wheeeee!
09.18.06
Song of the Day: Whitney Houston - How Will I Know
J and I, after considering a Thankgiving visit, decided that I'm going to fly out to visit her for a week in early January. This is very exciting, because I haven't had my wrists molested since August 2005. There are also possibilities of going to Vegas and San Fran while we are together, which is excellent because I haven't been to San Fran since I was about 2 feet tall. Tara and Kristy, your presence is requested so we can make it a Kallurian Bikini Beach Blast Only Not, Because It's Cold.
I now have a Vox blog, so take a peek. I've never liked the idea of having more than one blog (having a public one and a private LiveJournal seems to be a trend, and one that I avoided like the skinny jeans trend), but the interface at Vox is so clean and impressive that I just had to use it for something. I think I will start to file away entertainment reviews and thoughts there - the sort of thing I used to put in the "opinions" section of this site until that became too much of a chore. I've been wanting to put up other sorts of reviews here as well, and I think it would all go nicely over at Vox.
I just lit my Pumpkin Pie candle for the first time since last year. <3
11:35 PM [link]
Muddy
09.17.06
Song of the Day: Girls Aloud - Life Got Cold
Who knew mud smelled so good?
I'm totally finding excuses to shower now.
Also heavenly.
Once upon a time, I used to buy shower gel at the drug store in generic "spring rain" and "raspberry" scents. I must have been so unhappy back then.
09:18 PM [link]
More word goofs
09.13.06
Song of the Day: BT - The Anhtkythera Mechanism
I really seem to be hearing and seeing words incorrectly these days; on my way to lunch, a bus with a Snickers advertisement on its side passed me. The advertisement said, "Hungerectomy." I, amusingly, thought it said, "Huge erection." I'm not sure that the actual word made any more sense than my goof, but oh well.
Once again, at the start of a new season, I have to cringe at all the terrible fashion trends that are going around. Skinny pants? Leggings? What moron decided that was a good idea? I'm guessing it was someone who was unhappy with the size of his or her butt, who is now gleefully watching all the skinnier women walk around looking all huge-assed since these trendy pants are NOT. FLATTERING. AT. ALL. Common sense says that this unbalanced look draws all eyes to the now-widest point on your body - read: your hips and butt. The only way to avoid looking like you need a "Wide Load" sign on your back is to reduce yourself to Nicole Richie or Mary-Kate sized proportions (as in, stop eating and risk death).
I suppose it's just as well that I never buy into the whole This Is Hot Now And Everybody Who Is Anybody Is Wearing It, But You Won't Be Caught Dead In It Next Year thing. To paraphrase an episode of The Twilight Zone I caught last night, if you're the same as everybody else, isn't that just the same as being nobody at all?
01:27 PM [link]
Goblins
09.12.06
Song of the Day: Anna Vissi - Everything
My professor for both International Law and Comparative Law is from South Korea (he represented South Korea in the World Trade Organization, which I find rather impressive), so he has a noticable accent. Most of the time I don't have a problem understanding him, but whenever he says "government," it sounds like he's saying "goblin." It certainly spices up the rather dull topic of treaties to hear all about goblins negotiating and running countries.
01:17 PM [link]
Lit woes
09.06.06
Song of the Day: BT - All That Makes Us Human Continues
One of the classes that I'm taking this semester, Law, Literature, and Feminism, is an obvious attempt on my part to get some credit hours cleared out of the way without actually reading any more black letter law. Instead, I'm reading literature, or more specifically, classic American literature (and court opinions, of course, you can't escape those). I have rediscovered two things I already knew:
1. I hate American lit.
2. I hate English classes.
My beef with American lit became obvious to me during my junior year of high school, when the American classics were the focus of that year's English class. Salinger, Hawthorne, Hemingway, Steinbeck, Fitzgerald, it was all so dry and monotonous (I can hear Shannon choking and gasping here). I love Brit lit with an undying passion, as well as Frenchman Alexandre Dumas' works, and it seems to me that American authors shouldn't have been so eager to separate themselves from their ancestors.
My hatred for English classes can pretty much be summed up in a short phrase: The Eyes of Dr. TJ Eckleburg. The graduate level English class I took during undergrad further cemented my annoyance of the type of analysis that occurs in the English classroom. The professor encouraged so much BS that I found it impossible to believe that people actually get entire degrees out of it and consider themselves accomplished and learned. To test my theory, I spouted off some totally out-there "analysis" that I made up on the fly one day, and the professor congratulated me on my impressive thoughts.
I think all my classes from here on out should involve autopsies. That'd keep me from complaining.
11:52 PM [link]
Neat
09.05.06
Song of the Day: Delta Goodrem - Will You Fall for Me
I just found out that I get to go to the ME's office to see an autopsy for my Forensic Sciences class sometime this semester. Neat.
04:17 PM [link]
Question
09.04.06
Song of the Day: Morcheeba: Love Is Rare
Why is there wrestling on the Sci-Fi channel? What happened to the, you know, science fiction?
06:07 PM [link]