Valentine's Day gift part 2.

01.29.07

Song of the Day: Gaelle - Give It Back

As a single woman, I can't believe I'm discussing Valentine's Day two entries in a row, but I couldn't pass up the chance to rip apart this piece of drivel. It's an entry in an "Expert Blog" on Yahoo about "The Art of Intimacy" and it is written by a doctor. Read it and then observe my comments:

I don't need other women seeing me getting "romanced" when I'm dating someone. I'm secure enough that I don't need to rub it in other peoples' faces, thanks.
I will take my damn time in the bathtub whether some guy gives me permission to or not.
The fact that she refers to sex toys and porn as "disgusting toys and movies" says worlds about the author.
I'd kill for cooking lessons.
A poem...ON TREE BARK? WTF? SERIOUSLY?
No, wait, I can't get over that one. A POEM WRITTEN ON TREE BARK?
I could care less about a greeting card, and it's rather bitchy to get hung up over the lack of a piece of Hallmark-stamped paper when the guy's gone through the trouble of buying a gift. It certainly would not ruin a gift if it doesn't come with one...unless that gift is a poem written on tree bark. That one's already ruined, card or not.

Seriously, are there women out there who are nodding their head throughout that whole article? Am I that far outside the mainstream that I'm the only woman who isn't swooning at the idea of a coupon for a back rub? (And really, why does there need to be a coupon involved?) I realize I'm already the odd one out for thinking that flowers are a stupid gift ("Hey, here's a gift to show how much I care, and they're GOING TO DIE!!! IN A FEW DAYS!!!"), but surely I can't be the only one seeing the irony here: "A little effort and a personal touch goes a long way," the author says, as she provides a list for men to pick from that makes ridiculous generalizations about all women.

Enough of that V-Day crap -- except to note that anyone who uses phrases like "my special love" to refer to his or her significant other needs to be drawn and quartered. And then tarred and feathered. And then broken on the wheel.

07:51 PM [link] [Bored Now]

Valentine's Day gift

01.26.07

Song of the Day: Portishead - Undenied

If I had a boyfriend, he would buy me Final Fantasy VI Advance for a Valentine's Day gift, since it is conveniently being released on February 7th.

Sure, jewelry and chocolate are always nice, and flowers are pretty, but my boyfriend would know me well enough to know that I would rather help Terra and Locke save the world and, "Explore never-before-seen dungeons!" and, "Summon powerful, all-new espers to aid you in battle!"

Alas, I do not have a boyfriend, so I will not get to "Command over a dozen unforgettable heroes, each with unique skills!" This is sad.

(And they really were unforgettable, except for Relm and her pansy-assed paintbrush that never worked.)

01:58 AM [link] [2 Comments]

Last semester EVAR

01.22.07

Song of the Day: Robyn - With Every Heartbeat

Today was my last first day of school ever. I filled out my application for graduation today. Very surreal.

10:07 PM [link] [4 Comments]

01.09.07

Song of the Day: Big Ang - It's Over Now (feat. Siobhan)

J informed me that she has mapped out the way to an In-N-Out between the airport and the outlet malls for tomorrow. My reaction? Imagine screaming and jumping up and down that is usually reserved for knocking out the small amounts on Deal or No Deal, or getting picked to go to Hollywood on American Idol. I knew there was a reason she's my best friend.

God bless the Sci Fi channel for putting The Dresden Files on at the same time as Desperate Housewives, because now I have a reason to stop watching it. Sure, I could use some Tivo magic to watch both, but I'm almost relieved that I'll no longer be saying, "I might as well flip it on while waiting for Brothers & Sisters to come on." I hate the women on DH with a bloody passion; they're stupid, whiny, and pathetic, and I spend most of the hour that it's on wanting to strangle someone. Not that I have strong feelings about this, or anything.

12:06 PM [link] [Bored Now]

Happy New Year

01.01.07

Song of the Day: Massive Attack - Teardrop

Happy New Year, ya'll.

It's always amusing getting calamari in the little octopus shapes while sitting next to someone who has never seen such a thing consumed before. It's also amusing (to myself, at least) that when I saw a video on Yahoo! of the largest deep-sea squid captured on camera, or some-such, that my first thought was, "Mmmmm, that'd be a lot of calamari."

Last night was a flavored martini, a glass of wine, a glass of champagne, a Baileys/Kahlua coffee drink, and a beer, and I managed not to get nauseous until watching Shannon's black lab consume a giant rawhide bone in its entirety in about an hour. Dear lord was that a sloppy mess (the bone, not my nausea, which blessfully stayed in my stomach).

Off to start Mark Z. Danielewski's Only Revolutions and possibly review Keith Donohue's The Stolen Child and Neal Stephenson's Quicksilver on Vox, although Quicksilver is only one book out of a trilogy (or three books out of eight, as it may be), and I'm really not sure how I felt about The Stolen Child yet.

02:57 PM [link] [3 Comments]