"Oz"

01.31.05

I can always tell when my dad is preoccupied at work, because that's the only time he signs the emails he sends me with his first name.

09:54 AM [link]

100 things

01.28.05

I didn't think I'd do this blogging trend, but what do you know.

100 Things About Me:


  1. I am naturally blonde
  2. When I was a senior in high school, I dyed my hair dark and never looked back
  3. Everyone I have known since then assumes I'm a natural redhead
  4. I'm not Irish
  5. I'm Polish, actually, as well as German and Austrian
  6. I've had hearing aides since I was seven
  7. I don't consider myself a disabled person
  8. However, I snort and roll my eyes when people try to be politically correct about the term "disabled"
  9. I'm a gigantic Buffy fan
  10. I named my dog after her
  11. It is my dream to be approached by a handsome, older British man and be told that I'm the next vampire slayer
  12. I live a life of crime
  13. I have a BS in Criminal Justice
  14. I'm in law school and plan to focus on criminal law
  15. Should my goal of being a vampire slayer fail, I plan on being a federal law enforcement agent
  16. The DEA automatically disqualifies people who have hearing aides
  17. I plan on having something to say about that
  18. I prefer having a small number of very close friends than dozens of superficial aquaintances
  19. I met my best friend on the first day of first grade
  20. She won me over by asking if I liked She-Ra
  21. Did I ever love She-Ra!
  22. I met my other best friend online when we were 13
  23. We have met in real life and hit it off just as much as we did online
  24. I believe she and I were separated at birth
  25. My boyfriend calls her "Harold" since he cannot fathom meeting a best friend online and thinks she's really a fat, old man
  26. My boyfriend also lives a life of crime
  27. He and I met in our criminal justice classes
  28. He does not plan on being a vampire slayer
  29. He is currently in the testing process for police departments in the Chicago area
  30. He's the best boyfriend ever
  31. I dated a verbally abusive meaniehead before him
  32. I dumped him and made him cry
  33. I still feel good about that
  34. I am an alumni of Sigma Kappa sorority
  35. I was never hazed, and our initiation is a beautiful ceremony completely devoid of blood and other scandalous rituals
  36. My Little Sister in the sorority means the world to me
  37. She's going to be a bridesmaid in my wedding along with my two best friends and my biological little sister
  38. I try to forget that my Big Sister ever existed
  39. She told me it wasn't a big deal when I got a 4.0 my first semester of college
  40. I graduated from college a year early
  41. Except for the first semester, I lived in the sorority house my entire college career
  42. The weirdest thing in the world is to go from living in a house with forty other girls to living by yourself
  43. I absolutely love Britney Spears
  44. To redeem myself in your eyes, I have absolutely no idea what the appeal behind Paris Hilton is
  45. I'm quite mad at her for dating my favorite Backstreet Boy
  46. If I ever get to meet him, I plan on bathing him in boiling water to remove any trace of her
  47. I own 363 CDs
  48. Approximately half of those CDs were bought on eBay or in a used CD store
  49. All of my CDs are on my beloved 20 gig iPod
  50. I have less than 5 gig left and I'm deathly afraid I'm going to run out of space soon
  51. The iPod was a gift from the law firm I worked at my last summer in college
  52. Working at that law firm lead me to the decision that I could never be a criminal defense attorney
  53. I was much more interested in prosecuting the people we defended
  54. I never, ever admitted that to the lawyers
  55. I have also worked at a law firm that specializes in estate planning
  56. I did not know what estate planning was until my first day on the job
  57. My summer consisted of people talking about where they wanted their belongings to go when they died
  58. I decided I could never be an estate planner
  59. I was born on the first day of summer
  60. I absolutely hate the winter, coldness, snow, and gray skies
  61. I planned on moving to Los Angeles to go to law school
  62. I moved to Chicago instead to be with my boyfriend
  63. I actually love it here, barring the winter weather
  64. I often wonder how the heck I thought I could handle the LA traffic
  65. I currently don't own a car and leave the driving to the Chicago bus system
  66. I think my stress and blood pressure levels have dropped dramatically
  67. I lived in LA earlier in my life for a five-year period
  68. I was a toddler, so my memories consist of Disney Land, toy stores, and playing with She-Ra action figures
  69. Strangely enough, I also remember being deathly afraid of the snails that would hang out around my sandbox
  70. I had my first computer when I was three years old
  71. It was an Apple with giant floppy disks and no hard drive
  72. My uncle's favorite memory of me is having a three-year-old slap him on his hand and tell him he was using the computer wrong
  73. My uncle's other favorite memory of me is when I got blindingly drunk at the family 4th of July celebration and puked on my car
  74. I also puked all over my bed and went back to sleep that night without changing the sheets
  75. I can never visit him without sitting through him reciting that story while laughing himself to tears
  76. Getting blindingly drunk is a pretty rare occasion for me
  77. My mom thinks I was born knowing how to read
  78. By the time I was six, I was bored with picture books
  79. When I go on vacation, my biggest fear is not bringing enough books with me
  80. I also am a video game fanatic
  81. I could never have kids because they would get pissed at me for hogging the Playstation
  82. In order to read all the books and play all the video games that I want to, I'd have to live to be 500
  83. I have a tattoo of a fairy on my hip
  84. It needs to be touched up, but I can't stand the thought of going under the needle again
  85. I'm tempted to use a ballpoint pen instead
  86. I used to pierce little kids' ears when I worked at Limited Too
  87. The sales associates practiced on each other when learning how to pierce
  88. I had three holes in each ear at one point
  89. I worked at Limited Too for two years and was very thankful to leave when I left for college
  90. To my surprise, I actually kind of miss it now
  91. I haven't made more than $500 a year since leaving Limited Too
  92. Hopefully, the experience I gained at the law firms was worth far more than money
  93. I'm convinced I could live on nothing but sushi
  94. When I had my wisdom teeth removed my senior year of high school, my mom wanted to make me feel better
  95. I asked for sushi
  96. The effects of the anesthesia hadn't worn off yet and I threw the sushi up
  97. Due to the condition of my mouth, I hadn't chewed much
  98. It took me 9 months to eat sushi again after that
  99. Nothing made me feel more grownup than buying my couch
  100. I spent three months sitting on the floor to watch TV before I found a couch I liked

02:25 AM [link]

Patience is a virtue

01.27.05

I'm not patient. Not at all. I don't like waiting, and any time I have to, the time I spend waiting is filled with me cussing and muttering about how much I hate waiting.

I am patient, however, when it comes to waiting for the "walk" sign when crossing the street. Especially in downtown Chicago.

Most people aren't. Most people try to get a head start by walking out as soon as the traffic gets a yellow light or by trying to dash across in gaps in the traffic. These people will typically get huffy with me when I just stand at the corner waiting for the green "walk" sign. These people will typically come thisclose to getting hit by cars.

Drivers in downtown Chicago do not slow down for pedestrians walking against the red "do not walk" sign. They also, like most drivers, do not stop when they see the yellow light. They push it, regardless of how many pedestrians are in the way.

So while I'm pretty damn impatient, I'm patient enough that I'm not willing to risk getting smushed. My time isn't so valuable that I'm willing to get hit by a car just because I could shave an extra five seconds off my commute.

05:34 PM [link]

I'm not a cover hog

01.26.05

Nothing sucks more than being accused of being a cover hog when I know I'm not.

Will is constantly overheating while I'm always freezing my butt off. I've been told this is a common source of controversy for many couples. When I'm in bed, I pile all the comforters, and blankets that I possess over me since Will enjoys sleeping with the heat off (or even worse, with the window open, which I forbid at this time of the year). While we're sleeping, he often wakes me up by shoving all the blankets that creep over to his side on top of me.

And then, in the morning, he accuses me of being a cover hog.

This always gets me furious and flabbergasted. No matter how many times I tell him that he put the covers on me, he'll insist that I stole them all and cite one or two times when he woke up and found me pulling them to my side to justify his argument. Why he even wants the covers since he so dearly loves his cold air is far, far beyond me.

This will probably be an argument that I will never get to win. He does a lot of stuff in his sleep that he doesn't remember, as I've found out recently, but that story will have to wait. My covers are calling for me to come steal them.

01:40 AM [link]

Die, ex, die!

01.25.05

Two weeks ago, Time's cover story was about happiness. I was reading it on the bus yesterday (I'm always behind with this magazine, which made the election stories pretty pointless) and a paragraph caught my eye:

"What the psychologists learned is that couples' contentedness depends not on how often they argue or on how much they disagree but on the way they fight. Couples who used insults, blame, sarcasm, eye rolling and interrupting had greater increases in levels of the stress hormones epinephrine and norepinephrine, the same hormones that increase during a heart attack."

Does this mean my Big-Evil-Ex is likely to die from a heart attack? *claps hands gleefully*

Is it morbid and wrong of me to still wish pain and suffering on Big-Evil-Ex over a year after we stopped talking? No? I didn't think so.

On a serious note, it's interesting how I adapted to Big-Evil-Ex's fighting mode after he started subjecting me to it. I'd never been mean to boyfriends before him, and just the idea of saying anything mean to Will leaves me feeling like I just kicked a puppy. However, once I started dating the king of whining, bitching, moaning, and being nasty, I ended up whining, bitching, moaning and being nasty right back. And damn, could he whine.

01:43 AM [link]

Economics of sex

01.24.05

I'm reading a chapter on the economics of family law and sex law in my Justice and the Legal System textbook, and I've been raising my eyebrows the entire way through. He's the most questionable statement, however:

"...it is arguable that if [prositution was] closed to married men, such men would be more likely to seek sexual variety in forms more threatening to marriage -- for example, long-term liaisons that might lead to divorce and remarriage."

Long-term affairs are worse than a husband's visit to a prostitute? Who decided this? In my mind, visits to a prostitute, short-term affairs, and long-term affairs all equal the same thing -- violence not typically seen outside a Quentin Tarantino movie perpetrated against the offending husband.

I think I need to write my own book for this class.

08:12 PM [link]

Damn ammo

01.23.05

There's a line in the movie Resident Evil: Apocalypse that explains why I can't play the RE games:

"We're going to have to get more ammo. I'm out."

Screw ammo conservation. I need video games that unrealistically provide unlimited ammo so you can just go in, blazin' away, killing everything in sight.

I wish I had a really cool name like Jill Valentine.

03:38 PM [link]

Ow

01.22.05

After seeing a vinegar and baking soda volcano on Saturday Night Live, Will and I rushed to the kitchen to try it ourselves. To our dismay, it did not let off smoke or react as violently as the one on TV did.

Yesterday I burned all of my fingers on the stove when I accidentely turned on the burner that was not under the pot of noodles and then tried to lift up the burner I thought was off to clean underneath it. After I called my mom to find out how to treat a burn, she decided to email me a recipe for no-bake cookies. Yeah, she's funny.

Ludacris is SNL's musical guest star tonight. Is there a secret to figuring out what rappers' lyrics mean? Because I'm totally, totally lost.

11:42 PM [link]

Mean Girls

01.21.05

Happy 22nd birthday Shannon!

My first batch of DVDs arrived yesterday from Blockbuster's Netflix-like service, and I'm already thrilled with it (although I wonder how many DVDs get broken in the mail since they're not even in a jewel case!). I blew off law school homework and watched Mean Girls, and I can't gush enough about it. It's absolutely brilliant and hilarious, in a very intelligent-funny kind of way. I've decided Tina Fey is a genius and that she must never stop writing movie scripts.

The high school stereotypes in teen movies always puzzle me. As far as I'm aware, my high school did not have The Popular Group, The Jock Group, etc. Then again, I pretty much ignored high school societal norms and did whatever I wanted. Was I just unaware? My class also had 500 people in it, maybe it was too big for Stereotypical Groups? Did anyone actually go to a high school that mirrored the stereotypes you see in TV shows and the movies?

While talking about great movies, I also want to bring up two shows I've started watching. Joan of Arcadia is fantastic; it's like 7th Heaven without the preaching and with more subtle, profound messages and realistic characters. Point Pleasant seems like a typical teen nighttime drama, which is disappointing since Marti Noxon from Buffy is writing/producing it. I was expecting much more. However, I'll keep watching since it's decent and hopefully its quality will improve.

10:46 AM [link]

Bitter memories part 3

01.20.05

Another story about a memory that leaves me puzzled.

When I was in preschool, I was such a charming little kid. On the sand-covered playground, we had these giant tires that we could crawl around inside. One day I was crawling around inside one with my friends, and I notice that there's someone I don't know in there too. What did I do? What every charming little three-year-old does when they encounter someone they don't know - throw sand in her face.

She ran screaming out of the tire and I promptly forgot about her; at least, I forgot about her until the little brat tattled on me and brought a teacher with her to point out the offender. The teacher decided my punishment would be to sit outside on a chair overlooking the playground until the end of the day when my mom came to pick me up. While everyone else went inside.

Today, I look back and think, "What the hell were they doing leaving a three-year-old outside alone?" For all I know, the teacher could see me through the window and was keeping an eye on me. Whatever the case was, it doesn't seem very smart and I definitely should have given the teacher a run for her money by running around the playground instead of sitting obediently in the chair.

'Cause I'm still such a charming kid.

12:37 AM [link]

Bitter memories part 2

01.19.05

Yesterday I mentioned that my first grade teacher helped me get books from the library. The reason I couldn't do it myself is another memory that leaves me wondering just what the heck was going on.

Ever since I was little, I've been light years ahead of where the rest of my age group was in terms of reading ability. My mom says she thinks I was born knowing how to read. By the time I was done with kindergarden, I was done with picture books. They didn't interest me anymore and I didn't want anything to do with them. Unfortunately, my elementary school library had a rule that kindergarders and first graders could only check out picture books. The chapter books were for older kids. When I would even step foot in the chapter book section to start browsing, the school librarian would usher me back over to the picture book area and remind me of the rules.

Looking back, all I can say is, why? Why would an educator want to stunt a kid's ability and not allow them to reach their full capacity? My teacher, even though she was evil for lowering my desk, was my angel at the time since she would get books for me at the library and would make sure I always had more challenging books to read.

I signed up for Blockbuster's version of Netflix the other day, and now I have Mean Girls, Garden State, and Resident Evil: Apocalypse coming to my mailbox by the weekend. I'm so excited about this; I'll finally get to see all the movies I've been wanting to see for dirt cheap, and I don't have to go out anywhere to do it! It's a genius program. Blockbuster and Netflix seem identical, but Blockbuster is cheaper right now.

09:16 AM [link]

Bitter memories part 1

01.18.05

Does anyone ever look back on their elementary school days and wonder about things?

One memory I have that leaves me scratching my head is from the first grade. I've always been more comfortable sitting with my legs curled up under my body instead of with my feet flat on the floor; I'm not sure what it is, but I feel restless unless I'm curled up like a cat. Back in elementary school, we had desks that were adjustable in height; the teacher had to turn the desk upside down and use a metal tool to move the desk legs to different notches. Kids were always competitive about the height of their desk and bragged when they shot up in height and got to have their desk adjusted.

One day, my teacher noticed that I was sitting with my legs under my butt. For some reason, she decided that A) this was a bad thing, and B) this meant that my desk was too high for me. She proceeded to make my desk much shorter, which pissed me off. Not only was I now lacking in bragging rights, but I could no longer fit my legs under my body since the desk was so low.

What was that all about? Was there really anything wrong with me sitting that way? This is the same teacher who pissed me off by announcing that for our Thanksgiving celebration, girls would dress as pilgrims and boys would dress as Indians. At the time, I was obsessed with Tiger Lily from Peter Pan (my parents had the Broadway production on tape for me, and I watched it over and over - I was most disappointed when I saw the Disney version where Tiger Lily was silent and very not cool) so I was determined that I should be an Indian too. I still have the campaign letter that I wrote the teacher explaining that I would not, in any way, be a pilgrim. She eventually let me, but I think my defiance confused her.

I can't be too mad at that teacher though, since she was my ally in getting books from the library - which is another story for another time.

12:44 PM [link]

Who do you think you are?

01.17.05

Every month or so, I get a fancy coupon book filled with coupons for stores and restaurants in my neighborhood. I always flip through it and pull a few for restaurants I haven't been to yet - no better way to entice me to try your food than by offering me free delivery or a free dinner!

I was about to pull one for a Mexican restaurant (I've been searching for one that serves tamales for Will) when I noticed a small sentence at the bottom of the coupon:

"We add 15% gratuity to all bills."

Wait a minute. Excuse me? Since when is it a server's right to get a tip? At 15%, no less! I thought a tip was to thank the server for their attention and performance. A tip is not guaranteed! I have definitely been in situations where the service was so horrible and disastrous that we left without leaving a tip.

I ripped the coupon out and threw it away. Anyone who has the nerve to demand a tip from me is NOT going to get my business, thank you very much.

04:06 PM [link]

Blog Explosion

01.14.05

After reading hundreds of blogs through Blog Explosion, I've discovered a few things:

  • Most people are really boring with the titles of their blogs. Everything is "Random/Everyday Confessions/Musings/Thoughts From My (enter self-depreciating adjective here) Mind/Brain/Life."

  • Bloggers do not consider their blogs to be their own websites that just happen to contain a blog, as the girls here at Kallure do. It's simply a "blog," and any pages with photos on it is a "photo blog," any pages with creative writing on it is a "writing/story blog," and so on. It's all gotten a little too blog-happy.

  • There is a special blog lingo, and I still don't understand it. Words I don't have any clue about include "trackback" and "meme."

  • There is something called "blog drama." I'm absolutely dying to find out what "blog drama" is, especially since I've seen grown men blog about it. I've had this webpage since 2002, and the most dramatic it's ever gotten was when I switched from a subdomain on Kallure to this domain name and I couldn't get the CGI files for Greymatter and the guestbook to work without some massive surgery. (And someone might note that over a year later, the guestbook is still down...)

  • Bloggers call their layouts and designs "skins." Maybe it has something to do with how it's put on the page?

  • A buttload of blog readers use Mozilla. How the hell did this happen, and WTF does my precious HTML look like in it? (Enter panic attack and rantings about the need for one uniform browser here)

  • Blogs that just provide links to other places without much commentary just suck.

  • Blogs that are highly personal and discuss explosive feuds with family members or having the cops break up the blogger's panty-less spanking at a public sex club make me feel like a filthy peeping tom.

  • Blogs that are solely about a baby don't make much sense to me. It's fantastic for friends and family members, but why would Random Person A want to read about Random Person B's baby drooling for the first time?

    Will and Grace was boring tonight. Thumbs down. Scrubs is finally back on next week. Thumbs up.

    12:04 AM [link]

    Trashy my ass

    01.13.05

    Why did everyone call Britney Spears's wedding trashy? Her wedding pictures are featured in this month's InStyle's "Weddings of the Year" section, and everything looks gorgeous. The day that Monique Lhuillier bridesmaids dresses are called trashy is a sad day indeed.

    I've only seen one commercial for the movie The Wedding Date, but I can already tell you what happens in it. Girl hires date to take her to a wedding. Girl and date end up falling in love. Cheesy hijinks ensue until the end the movie when everything ends on a perfect note. The end. I can also tell you that thousands of women (including Shannon most likely!) are going to go see it and squeal about how romantic and sweet it was. I'm so not girlie when it comes to movies!

    Does anyone use Netflix or a similar service? I'm fed up with having to return overpriced movies to the store 24 hours after renting them and my cable company doesn't offer an InDemand-like service in Chicago. Netflix seems like the next best option, but I want to hear from people who have used it before trying it.

    05:15 PM [link]

    Yee haw

    01.12.05

    I think my iPod likes country music. It has 3785 songs on it. 1880 of them are pop songs. 1074 are of the dance/trance/electronic variety. 243 are country. When I hit the "shuffle songs" option, I'm assuming that the order they play in is pretty random. However, the past few days, every other song it plays is a country song. There's what, a 6% chance it should play country? Strange.

    Added two new opinions (been quite a while since I've done that!) - Michael Crichton's Prey in the books section and Thalia's English debut in the music section. Click the "Opinions" link at the bottom of the iframe to reach them.

    12:50 AM [link]

    Tara Reid's boob

    01.11.05

    Not to turn this into a celebrity gossip blog, but celebrities really puzzle me sometimes. For quite some time now, Tara Reid (of American Pie fame) has been moaning to the press that she just wants to be taken seriously and she doesn't want to be considered a party girl anymore. Then we have the infamous boob exposure at P. Diddy's party (for all those who missed this, she was posing and grinning for the press when her dress slipped down without her realizing it and exposed her boob, while the press gleefully kept taking pictures while Tara kept smiling and waving), which caused more moaning and crying to the press that no one takes her seriously.

    Then I go into the grocery store and her mostly naked self was plastered all over the front of one of those men's magazines.

    Can I say, "huh?" Posing naked in a magazine does not equal "being taken more seriously" in my mind. All I can conclude is that she's simply a dumb blonde whose legacy has been cemented in her R-rated teen movies.

    03:59 PM [link]

    Grrrr

    01.08.05

    Why do I get irrationally angry when I catch my headphone wires on something and the entire set jerks violently off my head? Someone needs to invent wireless headphones before I end up breaking mine in a fit of rage.

    So, Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt. Quite surprising and sad, really. Some celebrities' breakups just don't surprise anyone - who wasn't expecting JLo and Ben Affleck to violently explode like they did? (And along those lines, who wasn't expecting her to immediately attach her suction cuppy hands to the next available guy right away?) But when celeb couples stay out of the limelight, it's easy to assume that they're normal and to hope that they'll defy Hollywood standards and just be happy.

    Oh well, maybe Jennifer's career will take off like Nicole Kidman's did when she and Tom Cruise (again, surprisingly and sadly) divorced. Losing Mr. Cruise was the best thing Nicole ever did.

    01:36 AM [link]

    Justina?

    01.07.05

    I think it's amusing that every time a Justin Timberlake song plays on my iPod, I always think it's a female singer before I check the screen to see which song is playing.

    01:50 AM [link]

    New layout!

    01.06.05

    This is quite possibly the most pain-free layout I've ever made, even though I had to spend an hour editing "KYLIE.COM" in gigantic letters off of the picture on the left.

    The links at the bottom haven't been updated for this layout yet; they should be in a few hours hopefully.

    While you're at it, go visit Kylie.com and watch the video for I Believe In You, which wasn't released in the US. It's a fantastic song (and the lyrics rotate in the title bar at the top of the browser window, thanks to Kristy for having the script for me to steal. :D).

    08:04 PM [link]

    Cut 'em up

    01.06.05

    Last night I had a dream that I flunked law school. Someone handed me a hand-written report card on notebook paper (That should have been my first clue it wasn't real, but everything always makes sense in dreams), and I'd gotten an 84% on my contracts exam, 16% on my torts exam, and pathetic grades on two other exams, and there was a big F written at the top of the page. I had a very sick feeling in my stomach that lasted until I woke up and realized it was just a dream.

    The torts exam was hell, but I know I did a heck of a lot better than 16%, thank you very much!

    I've discovered something that annoys me to no end: companies who send solicitations that include a credit-card-like advertisement with a phone number or internet address and a code on it to use to redeem the offer.

    I hate cutting up credit cards when they expire; my scissors are never powerful enough and I'm always convinced that no matter how little I make the pieces, some criminal mastermind is going to be able to put them back together. The last thing I want is more things I have to cut up.

    15 days until I find out my REAL grades.

    03:55 PM [link]

    2005

    01.02.05

    New Year's Eve 2004 was perfect. Will made a fancy dinner and we watched Meet the Parents and Bedazzled and made fun of New York for dropping the ball an hour early (the fireworks display on Buckingham Fountain and Navy Pier far surpassed anything Times Square has ever presented).

    I mentally made fun of all the girls I saw dressed to the nines heading out to the bars and was thankful not to be a part of the whole, "I must find a hot stranger to kiss at midnight" drama. I've never been a bar person; the only guys I've ever met in bars are drunk morons who think they have permission to grab your ass and boobs, and the only girls I've ever met in bars are attention whores who dance on bars and grind and kiss their girlfriends (nothing screams "Look at me boys!" like doing body shots off another girl - you can bet no one would be acting like that if there weren't guys around).

    Actually, the best bar experience I've had was in a gay bar here in Chicago. Hundreds of hot, shirtless men who don't have any interest in touching the women there and actual dance music playing (whose idea was it to start playing hip hop in clubs? Whoever it was, I can guarantee he's a moron who can't dance). I had fun and didn't feel like a piece of meat by the end of the evening.

    It's now time to go wake up Will and tell him I want to watch Goodfellas NOW.

    02:23 AM [link]