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05/14/2005: "Friend bashing"

Song of the Day: SheDaisy - Get Over Yourself

I've recently been admonished for not updating this window into my mind. My only defense is that I didn't want to bore anyone with gripes about exams. What I have to say today is a result of watching the first three seasons of Sex and the City in one week and contemplating a multitude of my own relationship thoughts lately. So here is my Carrie Bradshaw-ish question:

When did it become okay to insult your significant other's friends and family?

Before venturing further, of course, most likely, every person you date has that friend, or that relative, who absolutely drives you up the wall. But when there isn't a single person who doesn't elicit an eye roll and a sneering, "Oh God" when you bring them up, how could anyone think that's acceptable?

Imagine this. You have your family, who has been there since the day you were born. You have your friends, who often have been there for years upon years for you, offering loyalty and support. Suddenly, this new significant other comes along, and after having only been in your life for a few months, starts putting those people down as if he (or she) is somehow better than them. They don't give any thought to why you might have picked these people to be in your life, or as to how they'd feel if their own sibling was insulted.

And then when you ask them to please stop, because you really don't want to hear them judge the important people in your life, how is it any different when they instead say things like, "Well, I have my opinions, but you told me to not say anything, so I won't"?

My most recent two boyfriends found it completely acceptable to rudely and vocally judge situations going on in my parents' lives, choices my sister makes, decisions that my best friends make, the things that my friends say to me about their dating and sex lives, and even how I happened to meet certain friends. From both of these oh-so-decorous men, I felt like none of the people in my life was exempt from eye rolling, smart comments, and general rudeness right to my face.

Which makes me wonder. If these significant others thought I was so horrible at picking out friends, did they ever wonder why I would be any better at picking people to date?

What does it take to get some common decency these days?

Replies: 3 Comments

Ha. So what did the Jolly Green Giant say about me this time?

And whatever. Everyone knows I'M the most important person in your life.

Without me, all you're going to be is incomplete.*

(*If you don't get that reference, go shoot yourself in the face. You don't deserve to live.)

Lindsay, Saturday, May 14th

He said that I'm not Brooke's REAL friend. So I assume I am imaginary. 8 years of imaginary friendship! Wheeee!

It's ok Lindsay, whatever he said about you, at least he acknowledged that you're real. ;D

melantha, Sunday, May 15th

If we're talking about the same ex (if not, it's applicable to one of Brooke's past ex boyfriends)I think I'm hated because I critisized that his car was chick car...

Come on, I may not know too much about cars, but I *do* know that Camero's are more suited for GIRLS and the car was purple. I repeat: PURPLE.

That's just as bad as one of the older exes who wore shiny shirts.

Despite her terrible exes, I must say that Brooke is quite lovable, and I don't see why anyone would want to offend her or her friends and family.

Shannon, Monday, May 16th